So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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