I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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