i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
