this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize