Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
