i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
