he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
