allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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