Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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