absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
