friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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