D3 body, D1 cock
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm passing your future prison.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
