when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
