I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
