When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
