If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize