I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
