I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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