So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
