I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So much rum. So many feels.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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