I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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