I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
