I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
