people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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