You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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