dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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