check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
