If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
