I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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