Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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