I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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