Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
