i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
