I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
