you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize