I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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