Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
