Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
