you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
