My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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