i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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