LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
