I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
