she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
