good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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