Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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