Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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