Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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