Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
