"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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