Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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