I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
