As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize