I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
