Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Sponge bath it is.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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