i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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