I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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