I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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