I cannot find my penis.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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