This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
