God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
