"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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