You really coming over, don't trick.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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