Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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