Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
