i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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