Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
