Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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