So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize