We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
