you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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