I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
