haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
